Freeze, Frame, Pause, Rewind, Stop
by cirobert
Summary: my sequel to Castiel And The Sugar Plum Fairy...inspired by the P!nk songs But We Lost It and For Now :)


'Heaven, help my prayer to reach the angel Castiel. It has been days since I have heard any word from you Castiel, and longer then that since I've seen you. I understand the world is a busy thing that needs saving and I accept your place in that savings. But if you could make the time to come to the ballet on the night of May 28th to see something I've been working on I would be greatly appreciative. I miss you…'

"What's up Cas? Why are you gung ho to be in New York tomorrow?" Dean asked as Cas fidgeted in the back seat of Baby. The angel had rushed the brothers through their last case and even before they had a chance to wash off the monster blood he was pulling them to the car to take him somewhere. Ever since his truck had kicked the bucket, and Dean hadn't been able to revive it, he was stuck in the backseat of the Impala again. Just like old times.

"I…I have somewhere to be." Was all he said while avoiding the eyes in the rearview mirror. The angel was clearly hiding something.

"Cas, man, come on." Dean rolled his eyes. Cas dropped his head and looked absolutely miserable. It was a clear moment of vulnerability that Dean had never seen from him before.

"Cas?" Sam piped up and gently nudged the angel.

"I…I think I'm about to be dumped." Cas said with absolute vulnerability in his voice.

"What? I thought you and Abby were going strong?" Dean asked but he did push his foot down a little harder.

"With all the apocolypses, the angel wars, Lucifer…I may have…" Cas looked out the window without finishing his thought.

"When was the last time you saw her?" Sam asked because really Dean was the least helpful person in this conversation.

"Approximately six months." Cas replied and Dean groaned.

"Six months man?" he asked accusingly as Sam sent him a master of a bitch face.

"I have been busy Dean." Cas said angrily.

"When did you guys talk last?" Sam asked cutting off that conversation.

Cas pulled his eyes from glaring in to the back of Dean's head but his response was mumbled.

"What was that?" Dean asked.

"I said about six weeks ago." Cas said louder then necessary. Both brothers couldn't stop their mouths from falling open. Cas let out an exasperated growl and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Look man, I may not have the best record in the romance department…" Dean glared at Sam as he snorted, "But even I know you can't just do radio silence with your girl."

"I know that." Cas said still looking angry.

"So? What happened?" Dean urged. The way Cas's shoulders slumped and he went back to look out the window again made him think the angel wasn't going to answer him.

"Its ok Cas, we'll get you there." Sam said reaching back to pat his leg in sympathy.

Dean managed to avoid a speeding ticket and did indeed get Cas to the ballet in time for the May 28th show. All three men dashed through the doors and Cas skidded to a halt in front of the ticket office.

"Do you have any tickets left for tonight's show?" he asked the surprised looking attendant.

"Uh…" she looked at the Winchesters coming up behind the angel. "No?"

"No? Are you sure?" Cas demanded a little more forcefully then necessary.

"Cas, man." Dean laid his hand on the angel's shoulder and pulled him back slightly as Sam leaned down to speak to the girl who was staring at them all wide eyed.

"She wanted me here Dean, and now I…" Cas was actually squeezing Dean's arm and Dean had to hold back at a grunt at the angel's strength.

"Cas, she left you tickets." Sam said triumphantly as he held up three tickets. Cas let go of Dean's arm and grabbed the tickets from Sam looking at the seat numbers.

"Show starts in ten minutes guys, if you're not in your seats by then I'm afraid you won't be able to get in." the ticket girl poked her head out of her window and tried not to stare.

"Alright, where are we?" Dean asked and took his ticket from Cas.

"Box seats." Sam said looking up just to be sure the tickets were all the same. Immediately Cas started sprinting towards the box stairs where a young guy was waiting for stragglers. As Cas handed him his ticket the guys eyes widened slightly and he held out a small sheet of paper to the trenchcoated angel.

"What's this?" Cas asked.

"Abigail left it with instructions to give it to you when you got here. You are Castiel right?" the guy asked and Cas nodded.

"Follow me for your seats guys." He said and all three trailed after him to a beautifully open box seat. From their seats they could see the slightly illuminated stage where the curtains were still closed.

"I'll let her know you made it." The guy said to Cas just before ducking out and leaving them alone to wait for the show.

"What's it say?" Dean asked plopping in to a seat and nodding his head in the direction of Cas. The angel was trailing his fingers over the fold in the paper.

"I don't want to look." He said honestly. Sam patted his shoulder but Dean scowled at him.

"Open it Cas, you owe her that much." He scolded him. Cas lowered his eyes to the paper and with a sigh opened it.

'Castiel, if you're reading this then you at least made the effort. Please listen to what I'm trying to tell you with my performance…love Abby' he read out.

"Its not a dear John so that's good news." Dean said reaching to the little tray of snacks left for the box occupants. He grabbed a bag of something and stuffed his mouth. Sam rolled his eyes but after decades of living with Dean he knew there was no hope of manners from his brother.

"What does John have to do with this?" Cas asked him confused.

"He means at least she didn't break up with you in a note." Sam explained. Cas opened his mouth to ask more questions when the lights went out and the sound of the heavy curtain being pulled back brought all attention to the stage. The soft melodic tinkling of a piano and a female voice drifted from the side of the stage but what kept Cas's attention captivated was Abigail in full ballerina attire in the centre of the stage looking absolutely breath taking. Her body was strong and lithe just as Cas remembered. But her face was sadder.

 _They say everything is temporary  
Who the hell are they anyways  
I wanna know where does love go to die  
Is it some sad empty castle in the sky  
Did we just shoot too high and spoil like wine?_

At the chorus of the song another dancer joined Abigail on stage, this one a tall dark haired dancer that looked entirely too much like Cas for any of them not to see it. He wrapped himself around Abby and they swayed to the music beautifully.

 _You walk by, and it's like our bodies never touch  
No love, you hold me close, but I don't feel much  
I cry, maybe time isn't on our side  
We had a thing but we lost it  
One more go, I kinda thought if we took it slow  
It might be easier for us, yeah for us to know  
I know we never been quite here before  
I wish I knew it when we lost it_

The couple on the stage danced perfectly together, the melody of the music guiding their feet and the way they barely touched each other. It was mesmerizing and Cas found his throat tightening.

 _You used to try to wake the beast in me  
There's still a very sleepy part of me inside  
I have been waiting to come alive  
You stared into my eyes and turned to stone  
And now I'm living all alone  
In these four walls  
There's a stranger, he's lying in my bed  
Kinda blank like the thoughts living in my head  
This is the one that I felt I knew so well  
I think we had it but we lost it  
I'm still the girl that you chased all around the world  
I haven't changed, I've just replaced all the chains with pearls  
I want the same things we did back then  
I know we had it but we lost it  
Oh  
The bone breaks  
It grows back stronger  
Oh... the bone breaks  
It grows back stronger  
The bone breaks  
It grows back stronger  
Oh the bone breaks  
You walked by, and it's like our bodies never touch  
No love, you hold me close, but I don't feel much  
I cry, maybe time isn't on our side  
We had a thing but we lost it  
One more go, I kinda thought if we took it slow  
It might be easier for us, yeah for us to know  
I know we never been quite here before  
I wish I knew it when we lost it  
Yeah... I wish I knew it when we lost it_

The song trailed off with a soft melody of piano chords and the two dancers on the stage ended on opposite ends of the stage looking longingly at each other. The context was not lost on Cas. He had had the perfection that was the ballerina on stage. A soft, sweet, caring and passionate woman who accepted him and all his flaws without question. And now…had he lost it?

"Cas…" Dean's voice was a little watery but before he could offer any comforts the lights went down again. In seconds the stage was bathed in a brilliant white light showing Abigail and the same dancer standing in an embrace while a new song started.

 _Remember that time we were just kickin'  
But nothing had changed, nothing was really different  
Then love showed it's teeth like it was something vicious  
No, no, no, let me finish  
Ain't it something when it all goes tragic  
How a spell can get casted onto something magic  
What I wouldn't give to get back to where we had it  
Oh, it should've lasted  
Now it's like I lied  
When I said I didn't need you  
Alright if you'd left I'd never be  
Tonight can we just get it right  
Somehow, for now_

The music crested in a joining of instruments and the dancers moved across the stage with passion and the light of hope. Cas watched as Abigail moved her body so perfectly, each muscle and limb knowing its place and timing. It was even more breath taking than the previous song.

 _Freeze, frame, pause, rewind, stop  
And get back to the old familiar thoughts  
Can we just freeze, frame, pause, rewind, stop  
And get back to the feelings we think we've lost  
For now  
Oh, I'm so goddamn mean  
'Cause I, I, I say and I do things that I shouldn't sometimes  
My mouth gets me in trouble all the time  
But now it's like I lied  
When I said I didn't need you  
I die if you'd left I'd never be alright  
Can we just get it right somehow  
For now_

When the music crested this time the dancers stayed together. Their bodies swayed together, joined from chest to knees. Abigail let herself fall back into a pose that showcased her muscled torso and then brought her hand back up to wrap around the dancers neck.

 _Freeze, frame, pause, rewind, stop  
And get back to the old familiar thoughts  
Can we just freeze, frame, pause, rewind, stop  
And get back to the feelings we think we've lost  
For now, for now  
Can we just freeze, frame, pause, rewind, stop  
And get back to the feelings we think we've lost  
For now  
Remember that time we were just kickin'  
But nothing had changed, nothing was really different  
Then love showed it's teeth like it's something vicious  
No, no, no, let me finish  
For now  
Freeze, frame, pause, rewind, stop  
And get back to the old familiar thoughts  
Can we just freeze, frame, pause, rewind, stop  
And get back to the feelings we think we've lost  
For now, for now  
Can we just freeze, frame, pause, rewind, stop  
And get back to the feelings we think we've lost  
For now, for now  
Can we just rewind, stop  
Get back to the feelings we think we've lost  
For now_

As the song faded Cas's breath caught in his throat as Abaigail lifted her eyes to look up into the box where he sat. It was like he could see every shade of grey that her eyes held and she was looking directly into his tarnished grace. The audience exploded in applause, Sam and Dean included, but Abigail never let her gaze move from his. It wasn't until her partner nudged her back that she let a bright smile cross her face and she bowed for the people. Cas blinked a few times to bring himself back to the moment.

"That wasn't a break up Cas, that was begging for another chance." Dean said to his friend. Sam agreed and before they could talk to him further Cas was dashing from the box, down the stairs and to the entrance he knew led to the dancers dressing rooms. He had been here countless times and he recognized the glow of Abigail's soul as she descended the stairs in front of him. She was sweating, as any dancer would be, but when she spotted him she broke in to a full run until she was in his arms. Castiel wrapped her up in his arms and old ratty trench coat and kissed her soundly.

"You came. Did you listen?" Abby asked as they broke for breath. She had her strong legs wrapped around his waist refusing to let him go.

"I'm sorry, more sorry than you can ever know." Cas let his forehead fall against hers and enjoyed the familiar weight of her in his arms. He had forgotten how much he loved this part.

"But did you listen?" She insisted and he gazed in to those amazing grey eyes.

" _Freeze, frame, pause, rewind, stop._ " He quoted the song she had danced to.

" _And get back to the feelings we think we've lost._ " She smiled at him.

Life with an angel wasn't easy, especially not one who sided with the Winchesters to save the world. But this little dancer had wormed her way in to his heart and grace so much that Castiel wouldn't ever imagine not trying to get back what they had thought they lost.


End file.
